22 Chapter Twenty One: WHY PREACHER“S KIDS REBEL

If you honestly feel you have done your best in raising a godly child but your grown-up child has turned out to be the exact opposite of the baby you nursed, in order to help the child, you will need to understand the reasons why Preacher's Kids sometimes choose to go the way of evil. Until you are willing to evaluate the cause and effect of your kid's rebellious spirit, you are not yet ready for change.

Almost all of the challenges a Christian teenager faces can cause them to rebel if not well handled. Most of these challenges have been discussed in previous chapters. In addition to all of them, we will focus on some more vital ones in this chapter.


One of the reasons why some Preachers' Kids turn their back on the moral training they receive at home is an inner inordinate desire for the pleasures of the world. Some of them just leave the church for want of a worldly experience. They just desire to have a feel of what the world looks like. "How can you tell people how chocolate tastes if you have not had a bite before"? They seem to ask.

Just like the prodigal son, some of them will have to go out to have a bite of one or more of the items on the devil's menu, before they realize they are not as yummy as they taste. They have just been deceived with the 'screen saver'; the real meal is not as palatable.

All human beings have a certain innate desire to want to explore, to experience, to know, to understand, to feel, what they have not been exposed to previously. Some people have the ability to control this desire, but not all can actually control the urge. This desire is at varying degrees, depending on each person's ability to take risks. However, if you had actually trained them up in the way of the Lord, you can be sure they will soon realize their errors and will still return home before they are swallowed by the roaring lion waiting to devour them in the world.

As it has been established in previous chapters, it is not all Christian parents that can be blamed for their children's excesses. The truth is, it is possible to have done all that you practically needed to do as a godly parent in bringing them up in the way of the Lord, and they still choose to go their own part. This may cause your blood pressure to heighten in no time. Rest assured that they will soon come back to the Lord if you do not relent in praying for them, as long as they have actually been trained in the way of the Lord. Just as the good shepherd went in search of, and attended to the lost sheep that wandered away from the other ninety-nine, as told by our Lord in one of His parables, the good Lord, the Bishop and the shepherd of our soul, will ensure that he comes back to the fold before the roaring lions devour him.

Many Christian parents do not know how to handle this, when they see that one of their kids is showing this tendency to prefer worldliness to godliness. Rather than help the child, they take steps and actions that drive the child further away from Christ and into the world. Beatings, badgering, insulting and denying them of rights and privileges will not do as much as correcting them in love.

The mistake most of these parents make is to assume that the values and the principles they preach will automatically be carried over and start manifesting in their kids' lives. This is not always so.

So many pastors always complain that they have trained up their children in the way they should go, but that the children grow up and departs from it until they are eternally lost. This is like taking God as a liar or saying that His words are ineffective. "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Pro 22:6

No one can claim a soul is eternally lost until it has taken its last breath. Do not give up on anyone when God has not given up on him; and God will not give up on him until he crosses from this side of eternity to the other.

A child that grows up being trained in the way he should go may once in a while veer off the way, but his wanderings will not lead to eternal death because of the solid foundation he has; he will soon find his own way back to the truth. Only the child that is indoctrinated with religion, without a solid relationship with Jesus, may get lost for life.

This is why no preacher-parents should just assume that his children will naturally grow up to love the Lord. Teach them right from their childhood. A child is a child. He has a choice to either live for God or revolt against Him, regardless of his father's position in the church. If he is trained in the way he should go right from childhood, when he grows up, he will not depart from it. Even if he mistakenly strolls away, he will still find his way back.

It is normal for a pastor to feel frustrated and embarrassed when his child does not follow his ways, but he can console himself with the fact that he has indeed done the things he is supposed to do, which is laying the proper foundation. Imagine the frustration Jesus would have felt when He noticed the unbelief and the conduct of the people in His days, after showing them all of the signs and wonders; especially in His own place of birth, of all places! Even Jesus knows that when a man has made his choice, besides divine intervention which is spurred by the prayer of the people who have a genuine concern for the person, and their constant reasonable counsel, not much can be done about it.

No father, no matter how spiritual he is, and how much love he has for the child, has any power to make his child become a Christian; that is God's sole prerogative. What is important is to have built a solid spiritual foundation in the relationship with God for them, for the Bible says, "if the foundation be destroyed, what shall the righteous do"? If indeed you have, you can confidently rest in the assurance that you have laid the right foundation for the child and believe that wherever they go, the strong foundation you have designed will keep them grounded in the faith.

If you have planted the right seed of relationship with God in your child, you can be sure that your prodigal son will always come back home. There is nothing in this world that is strong enough to keep in its system a man who has the right foundation of God's word. The world has nothing to offer a spiritually-minded person. It may only be a matter of time he will soon come looking for Jesus. The yearning for God will always come back, and the only place he can find rest is with the Savior of his soul.


Another reason for waywardness in a Preacher's Kid is when there is not too much difference between the father's church and what is obtainable in the world.

In order to win the sinners outside the church into the fold, some pastors have made their church so sinner friendly that worldliness is no longer strange in such churches. Their churches have been designed in such a way that there is little or no difference between the church of the Lord and the immediate environment it finds itself (the world). Therefore, it is becoming increasingly difficult for their sons and daughters to trace any meaningful contrast between the two. Such pastors have with their own hands, driven their wards into the world.

In this type of church, the line between godliness and worldliness is so thin that one can easily cross onto either side of the touchline without consciously being aware that one has gone too far into the world while still claiming to be in the church. There is so much patronage of, and overexposure to unreasonable measures of unbiblical doctrines and unsafe doses of unscriptural activities. This makes the children more of motivational superstars or hip-hop celebrities, than a child of the minister of the gospel.

This type of gospel is what has kept so many Pastors' Kids struggling with the salvation experience in the name of the Lord Jesus whom their parents constantly claim to represent before the people. The gospel their parents preach has encouraged them to sacrifice godliness and contentment for an opportunity to look more like the world on daily basis, and the more of the world they resemble, the less of Christ they manifest.
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Another reason is believing in a strange gospel. One of which is, once saved always saved. The proponent of this particular gospel message believes that once you are saved, your names is written in the book of life, and nothing whatsoever you do again in life can delete your names from the Golden Book. It is called the theory of eternal salvation.

A myopic and unbalanced gospel as this can give the Pastor's Kid the liberty to want to intentionally decide to begin to explore the world of sin, since it has no negative effect either directly on him, or indirectly on his eternal pursuit.


Another major reason why Preacher's Kids refuse to follow their fathers' faith is when religion, and not Christ, is forced down their throats. The imposition of a physical activity based on unbalanced scripture in the name of religion can drive any Preacher's Kid either away from his father's church to another or completely from his faith to another.

Teenagers and youths are always looking for something real and authentic. If they cannot see that in whatever you offer them, they may get easily drawn to other options that seem to them more genuine. Whatever that is, it is not going to be something that will gladden your heart. It may be, on the average, a slight modification, or worse still, a complete deviation from what you have always offered them.

This is because religions generally, Christianity inclusive, always permeate every aspect of a family, most especially when the parents are really religious. The child is raised in a very religious environment and is brainwashed to believe he is as religious as his parents simply because he does just about everything they do. He attends Sunday school, Bible study, weekly prayer meetings, worship services, revival meetings, with constant fasting and other spiritual responsibilities so much that even the child will never doubt that he is a Christian.

Frankly, the fact that a kid does all these is not what makes him a Christian. We do not become Christians by the religious activities we engage in but by Whom we confess we belong to, and how many of our daily actions please Him. Most of these spiritual activities can be done without a deep-rooted relationship with Christ or a connection to the real substance of their parent's beliefs. These religious actions will only make a Preacher's Kid a better Christian if he has first accepted Christ into his life.

This is what is lacking in the lives of so many teenagers and youths who are raised by godly parents. They learnt to do all the right things before they grew up to the age where they can decide to have a relationship with the right person who makes it easy for the flesh to overcome the Adamic nature and makes it convenient to continually do the right things by His grace, the man Jesus. This is a case of putting the cart before the horse.

All things being equal, one would have thought that learning to do the right things should help them to decide for the Lord much faster in their lives. However, as long as the devil is interested in these kids in order to discredit Christianity and drag them to his kingdom as useful instruments to depopulate the kingdom of God, all things can never be equal. This is why, although still very surprising, it is possible to teach all of your kids all the right things while they are growing up, but one of them still chooses not to embrace it when he gets older. His passion drifts, reflecting waywardness as other things become his priorities.

Instead of forcing religion on him, let him grow to like it naturally. Being legalistic and religious will not get you the best result. Rather loving rational convictions will work the magic.


This may be the most important reason why Preacher's Kids become wayward. So many Preachers have in times past and are presently dealing deadly blows on the kingdom of hell. They are already recognized in the Satanic world as terrors whose activities always cause untold destruction to the works of the devil and his cohorts.

This seems to be good news to such ministers. However, with such a track record, he has opened himself and his immediate family up to attacks from hell. The devil will not fold his hands watching him destroy his kingdom without retaliating; and when he fights, he fights bad. He will hit back with all of his strength.

Another good news is that, most times when the devil hits back, such a minister who knows the level of havoc he has wrecked in the dark world is always prepared for it, guarding himself with all spiritual weaponry needed to both defend himself and attack the opposition if need be. However, if the devil decides to change his target and aim at the Preacher's Kids, he is always surprised to find their spiritual coverage easily penetrable. This may be either because the father has not groomed them well enough, or although they are well grown, they have been dipping their hands in untold sins which are unknown to their father.


Reproach to God

If your rebellious reaction today is to inflict some pains on your parents for whatever ills you feel they have done to you, you need to know that you are not just breaking the heart of your parents alone, you are also breaking the heart of God. in addition to the shame you will bring to your parents, you also will bring insults to the name of the Lord. When a preacher's Kid rebels, it brings lots of insults and reproaches to the name of God. Men will say all manner of things to the God of your father because of your actions. People will use his action as an opportunity to say unworthy things against the church simply because of one soul. Whatever storm of rebellion is raging in your hearts today, you can allow the peace of God that passes all understanding calm your mind and bring peace to your soul.

Disrespect and insult to their father's ministry

Beyond the insult it will bring to God Himself, it will also discredit your earthly father's ministry. This has been dealt with at various places in the book. Your rebellion in a way puts your parents in bad, especially before the members of the church who they claim to pastor. It gives them a bad reputation! Your behavior as a Preacher's Kid becomes the report card of how effective your parents are at pastoring. Their success as ministers is judged by how well they have been able to govern their homes. How else will you explain it, that the one whose primary responsibility is to lead others to Christ cannot even successfully lead members of his family to Christ? This could be highly embarrassing.

Heartaches & headaches for parents

Your unbalanced lifestyle can also cause your parents a lot of distractions from their official responsibilities. The time that should be used in planning the growth of the church and the welfare of their members would be diverted to running helter-skelter for your sake, organizing counseling sessions for you, or pleading with people whose items or integrity you have damaged because of your lifestyle, or organizing prayer sessions for you. They may need to start shopping for a new school for you or looking for loans to pay for your medical bills or rehabilitation centers.

All of these will divert their attention from their primary responsibilities in church, and cause them to be absent-minded, even if they force themselves to be physically present at their duty posts. You may not know what your unscriptural lifestyle will cause your parents, but you do not want to imagine it. More so, you do not want your children too to cause you to go through such in your later years.

Untimely death for parents

Constant thoughts about your life can also give your parents some terminal diseases. They may develop high blood pressure which can eventually take their lives, at which point you will be guilty of their blood. By heavens record, you will be seen as a murderer.

Incur God's wrath on themselves

You will also incur God's wrath on yourself, not just for being rebellious, but for the consequences of your rebellion. Do not forget, your rebellion has tarnished the image of God and brought reproach to His name, a name which He jealously protects, and it has also destroyed the integrity of your parents in ministry, among other things. Such things will not go unpunished.

That will not be all, you need to know that even if you decide to turn a leaf in the future, the bad image you have painted for your parents will not be forgotten in a hurry. Church members have a very sharp memory and are likely to always remember the pastor's son who lost his manners and slept with a sister in the choir, or the pastor's daughter who got impregnated by a brother in the welfare department in the church. You may sincerely repent, and God will even forgive you and forget about your sins as He has promised in His Word, but men will seldom ever forget your past actions, and your parents will always carry the emotional scar, long after the wound has healed.